A Tribute

Today was the day we celebrated the life of Mama L.  I was asked to share a few words of my memories.  Here's what I had to say:

What an honour it is to have some of my thoughts and memories of "Mama L" shared with you all.
From the age of 12 I was an almost permanent fixture in the Lundeen house. I would show up whether Sharon, David and Heather were there or not, I even had my own key. Mama knew the struggles in my heart and my home and warmly opened her heart and home up to me. Looking back I’m sure there were times she walked in the door to an extra pair of shoes at the back and thought, "What is this? A hotel?" but if she ever thought that it never came across to me. Oh she made it clear, "if you’re one of my kids, part time or not you will be treated like one. Now go clean the bathroom."
I hope she knew how her unconditional love affected me. I saw that she disciplined but loved her children, which definitely molded my parenting skills. Her marriage, and the love between Mama and Papa, showed me what true love looks like and how wonderful a happy marriage could be. She took me to fancy tea houses and taught me about using the correct utensils, a skill which has come in handy several times as an adult trying to impress business associates. She taught me it was ok to take a break sometimes but with God’s grace and a lot of prayer you get back into the game of life even when you just want to hide in your bed...especially when you want to hide in your bed. She taught me to accept the things I can’t change, change the things I can and always ask God for help deciding between the two. She helped me nurse my first broken heart, and even though the offending boy left much to be desired, I never felt her judgement. When I found the perfect boy some years later she was so excited for me. She threw me a beautiful wedding shower and worked almost tirelessly with my mom to make my wedding day perfect. When I was in labour with my first baby she was there, flitting about, so excited. She knew the pain I was in would soon be replaced with enormous love for the gift God was giving me. And plans for a baby shower were underway almost immediately. When my second baby was born with a birth defect she was there right away. Reminding me how precious my baby was, that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, and praying constantly for my whole family.
I must admit that like many adult children I haven’t seen her as much in recent years as I’d like to. When I went to see her at the hospital a few weeks ago I sat beside her, showing her pictures of the girls and I felt so comfortable, cuddled up against her. One of my comforts is gone, but finally she is comfortable. I imagined her running up to her son and her grand-daughter, who she didn’t get to have time with here on earth, and thinking about how she will spend all eternity with them now. She will see us all again and she will embrace each of us. How can I be sad thinking about that? From now until I see her again I will continue living out the lessons she taught me and always be grateful for my memories of her.

Love and Loss



Today marks the beginning of what will likely be an emotional week.  Today my "second mom", Linda  Lundeen (affectionately known to me as Mama L) went home to be with Jesus.  It's been about 7 hours since she made this journey, and it seems strange and wonderful to me that she is somewhere where time means nothing anymore.  To her it will be merely a blink of an eye before she sees us again.  To those still here it will seem much longer.

For those of you reading this and have only known me a short time you may not even know about my feelings and beliefs about life and death and everything in between.  I'll be honest, neither do I.  I can tell you that Mama L was an important figure in my childhood and helped my mom steer me in the direction a God-fearing child should go.  But anyone who knows me at all (short or long time) knows that you can lead a horse to water... ;-)  I was brought up in a home with parents of two polar opposites.  My mom is secure in the knowledge that her Heavenly Father is always watching out for her, taking care of her, and has a place prepared for her in Heaven to welcome her to when her time comes.  My father was essentially and athiest.  Strange...yes.

This brings us to me.  What do I believe?  Well I definately believe in God, I believe that God sent Jesus to our earth and he died a most gruesome death for us.  I believe God has my best interests in mind and that I am truly His child.

My problems have come in dealing with all the earth stuff.  I'm a big questioner, I need to know "why" something is for me to accept it.  I need to know why I had the father I did, I need to know why God let certain things happen to me.  I need to know why my baby was born with a defect that will affect her entire life even though I did everything right in the pregnancy.  I need to know why people who claim to be leaders in a church think they are so much more important than those who are not called to lead.  I need to know why they think they have the right to judge others and impose their own opinions and non-bible-based theories on others.  I need to know why my mom lost her parents and her brother at such a young age.  And now I need to know why Mama L had to leave her children and grand-children behind at the age of 59.  Why?

My sister said something to me a few months ago, which I've been mulling over ever since.  I can't remember her exact words, but we were having a loving conversation and I know she could sense my frustration and anger at my situations and at God.  She gently suggested maybe I go back to church.  I kind of blew it off but to be honest I've been thinking alot about it.  Why haven't I gone back, well the answer is simple really:  I'm scared.  Scared to become attached to people who will let me down, scared to open myself and my children to the possibility of people, who claim to love Jesus, turning around and judging us.  But then I got to thinking, if I've completely quit talking and listening to God, how will He ever have the opportunity to answer all my "why's"?

So tonight I will start small, with a prayer for my dear friends who have lost their mother and wife, for my mommy who has lost her great friend and for me.  This is actually a song, one that my Grandma (also a strong Christian woman) really loved.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.


T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Kids, Doctors, Weather & Other Drama

Wow it's been a long time since I've had the time to blog!  That, and I haven't felt overly inspired lately.  The last couple days have provided stuff for me to write about though.

Have you ever taken a look at the little people you helped bring into the world and wonder, "How did I contribute to this?"  A often gives me laughs, but the last little bit has been especially hilarious.  The other morning while getting on her mitts and boots she was talking, to no one in particular, just anyone who would listen, and I hear her say, "We should really paint my face green so everyone knows I'm an alien."  To which I obviously respond, "Maybe tomorrow babe, if you're still an alien." and the morning continued as if everything were normal, except I now knew I had an alien in my midst.  Yesterday she all of a sudden realized that somehow Santa was going to have to find out that she would be at Gramma's house instead of our house.  Complete panic set in and she was coming up with all kinds of options, like flying back home real quick on Christmas morning then back out to Gramma's as soon as we got our presents.  I assured her all would be fine as parents have Santa's phone number and I had already told him we would be at Gramma's.  I found out tonight that she is now spreading the word that I am a wizard....huh?  Yep a wizard, cuz only wizards have Santa's phone number.

All right, now to the doctor.  I finally went for my yearly physical, which in this case was my 6 year physical.  I told my dr. about some of the problems I've had recently and he sent me for a bunch of tests:

• ultrasound - which I wasn't too concerned about
• blood tests for everything including diabetes, cholesterol, iron deficiency - which I was sure would all come back poor
• a 24-hr blood pressure monitor - which I wasn't concerned about as I was fairly sure I just had "white-coat syndrome"
• a visit to the headache clinic - which kinda made me laugh.  I have to go because I asked my dr. to refill the prescription I got from a walk-in clinic for some great drugs that have been helping my migraines.  The conversation went like this:

Me: "I need more drugs"
Him: "Where did you get that prescription?!"
Me: "The walk-in clinic, when I thought I was gonna die and you were on vacation."
Him: "Did the dr. there ask you about any medications you were on?!"
Me: "Come to think of it, no, he just gave me two shots and a prescription.  Didn't ask my history at all."
Him: mumbling incoherently in is Irish brogue, I vaguely recognized the term jackass, "You CANNOT take that drug any more!  It interacts with the other medication you're on! "
Me: "How bad can it be?"
Him: "It can raise your body temperature quickly and cause you to have a seizure, or die.  It's the same reaction that happens when you take ecstasy."
Me: "Oh. Damn."

I still haven't gotten in to the headache clinic, so who knows what will happen with that.  I went for my blood work and crazy enough - everything is completely normal!  Nothing wrong with anything.  The blood pressure monitor was another thing.  The nurse told me that at one point during my work night my BP hit 174/110, apparently this is unacceptable.  I came out of the hospital and called my mommy, cuz that's what I do when I'm stressed.  I totally broke down and started crying.  She helped me feel better as she always does and the next day I talked to Dr. C.  He actually told me to relax and wait until he got the full results.  He called today but I was sleeping, I'll call him back tomorrow and go chat now that he's had the chance to look at the results.  In the meantime I've started reading the sodium content on labels along with the fat and sugar content.

On Tuesday, November 23 at 11:00 MST the temperature at Springbank Airport reached -33 degrees celsius, making our area the second coldest place ON THE PLANET!! The only place colder was the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station in ANTARCTICA!!  And yes, that was without windchill, the news reported several times throughout the day that with windchill the emperature reached -47 degrees.  That hurt.  Things are warming up now, thank goodness.  Keep warm everyone!

This Post Brought To You By The Letter "L"

Lopez. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxwof8rNM0c
My work-friend Chris Lopez got arrested this past weekend along with his brother-in-law, wife and some other un-suspecting folks.  Luckily it all got sorted out and they were released, but not before they shut down the Deerfoot with a Police Barricade.  I'm still laughing - sorry Chris.

Love. 

Total Helicopter Mom moment this week.  On Monday I was a block from the Honda dealership to drop it off for a service.  I got a phone call from the school telling me Avery was at the office with no lunch and she had no snack earlier in the day.  I felt TERRIBLE!!  There was no way I could get there before her lunch hour was over and I was obviously upset, humming and hawing about what to do.  The secretary offered to buy her lunch at the kiosk, of course on my way home from the dealer I stopped and paid her back.  I spent the rest of the afternoon missing everyone: Emm, Av, Phil...So I decided I needed a hug from someone.  Wasn't sure Phil would be really happy with me showing up at the shop to get a hug, so I stopped back at the school.  Yep, I made them pull my kid out of class just so I could give her a hug.  Maybe L actually stands for Loser, but I don't care.

Lazy

Didn't matter what I did to that picture, I couldn't get it to rotate!  Anyway you get the idea.  That's pretty much how I spent my whole day today.  I took the laptop, my phone, my book and my remote and hung out in my bed all day.  I have one day off this week and all I wanted to do was chill.  We even ordered pizza for supper. I definately felt guilty in the afternoon, I shouldn't have wasted a day but I will work extra hard tomorrow to make up for it.

Labels

Gasp!  I said it - LABEL!!  Yeah I know we're not supposed to label one another but can you honestly say that when you think of your family, friends and co-workers some label doesn't come to mind?  I know sometimes the label may not be positive, but we're not talking about those right now!  I'm talking about the one word that pops into your head when you first see that person or hear their voice on the other end of the line.  Here are some (not all!) of my list of "labelled friends".  What's your label for me?

Phil - love

Emma - sweet

Avery - fun

Shelley - constant

Jeremy - brother

Deseray - laugh

Jody - same

Mom - always

I survived!

Well I survived!  I worked 8:00 p.m. - 4:30 a.m. Friday and Saturday night this week.  I've done the occasional over-night in the past, but it's been a long time.  It was fun seeing some of my old over-night friends, we chatted all night Friday night.  Last night was a tad quieter, it was just Bill and I after 1:00 a.m. so we had some "quiet time" and some good chats about my mortgage.  I don't love the over-nights because right now I feel like it's about 10 in the morning but really it's 3:45 in the afternoon - confusing.

Moving on, I've decided to exercise my democratic right to my day in court.  Last Sunday I was doing a bunch of running around Airdrie.  I was on my way from the dance store to my friend Shelley's house, I had just turned onto the main road to her house when a fluorescent green vest stepped into the road in front of me.  My first thought was, "crap!" but I glanced at my speed-o-meter and it said 50, so my next thought was, "huh?"  When the BY-LAW Officer approached my vehicle he advised he recorded me going 50....IN A 30 ZONE?!?!?!?  What?!  This road is a main road that has two "service roads" on either side of it that front the residences, it never occured to me the main road was 30 km/hr. 

So I immediately pull out my license and insurance and hand them to him. He opens the insurance folder and tells me the insurance is expired, "crap again!"  I told him I have insurance and it must be at home on my counter (keep in mind I'm in Airdrie, home is a 5 minute drive.) He says..and I quote: "No problem, give me a minute to check on it.." and walks back to h

is car.  I'm feeling a tad relieved, obviously he has the magic cop-computer in his car and it will tell him I am a good law-abiding citizen with valid insurance.  I've seen "To Serve and Protect" that computer has lots of good info in it.  Just to be sure though I make a panicked phone call home.  It goes something like this:
Phil "Hi"
Me "Quick, look on the counter and see if I have a valid insurance card there."
Phil "Huh?"
Me "JUST LOOK FOR VALID INSURANCE, I GOT A TICKET!!  CALL ME BACK"
I wait, and wait, and wait...
Me "Gawd, what's going on?  Why haven't you called me back?  Did you find it?"
Phil "It's been like 3 seconds!  Yes it's right here.  Where are you?"
Me "THE SAME SPOT YOU TOLD ME NOT TO SPEED IN LAST NIGHT!  I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

Rent-a-cop comes back to my car and has 2 TICKETS IN HIS HAND!!  He's holding them kind of layered one on top of the other so I can't see how much the second one is for.  He gives me a speech about how he could have my car towed for failure to produce insurance but he believes I have insurance so he is just going to give me a citation.  He says, "Try to have a better day" and hands me the tickets.  I throw them on my seat and continue up to Shelley's house.  When I look at the tickets I see the speeding ticket is for $124.00 (and my husband has just informed me I will get demerits for it!) The Failure to Produce Insurance ticket is for $176.00!!!

So October 26 I will be at Alberta Provincial Court begging for some sort of reduction.  I will be starting a "Save Jesse's Driving Record" Defense Fund.  Please let me know if you would like to contribute.

Life Turned Around

It's 1:42 am.  I'm nodding off a bit as I type.  I am trying to get my body used to night shifts again, and it kinda sucks!  For years I worked evenings and over-nights.  Last May I had the opportunity to change my shift to early mornings.  I am NOT a morning person, never have been.  But the opportunity to switch to mornings doesn't come up very often so Phil and I thought I should take advantage.  The theory was that we would struggle though the summer finding child-care for the girls but come September it would be great because I'd always be home before the girls got off school.  So we did just that - beg and plead with people to take care of the girls in the mornings all summer.  The day the girls went back to school this year I started my new Help Desk position - ON NIGHTS!!  All that worry and struggle all summer was for naught.  So here I am back on nights. 

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today as I am once again missing dance class and not home in the evenings for my girls to chat with me, read to me, and tuck in at night.  I'm pretty sure this is temporary, in January I get the chance to bid for a new schedule again and hopefully that means mornings again, but there's no guarantee.  Right now I am dragging my sorry butt out of bed early each morning to make the girls a good breakfast, help them get ready, drive them to school and on the days that I don't work too early I am picking them up and bringing them home for a hot lunch.  All that being said, I still feel sad about it.

I know I am just one in a huge group of moms doing what they have to do to help their family survive in this expensive, busy life.  Do you think it's worth it though?

Gettin' Ready

As you may or may not know, I have spent the last 3 weeks in pretty intense training classes for my new job.  My position is now "Help Desk Agent."  What does that mean?  Well actually quite a bit more than I initially thought!  My main goal will be helping Sales Super Agents when they get stuck in a process or trying to make our system work.  I also support them when they use their empowerment to help a Guest in a one-of situation (read: I got the power to make stuff happen!!)  I also book executive travel, after-hours Groups booking, after-hours WestJet Vacations support, LOTS of Travel Agent guidance, promo bookings, Make a Wish Flights, Hope Air...and on and on it goes.  Tomorrow is my first day in my schedule, I am back to evenings.

Yesterday was a good day.  We went shopping for Phil as he is seriously lacking jeans and shoes.  We got a smokin' deal at Mark's Work Wearhouse on jeans and then eaded out to CrossIron Mills.  If any of you know Phil you know he is the cheapest bugger on the PLANET!! (It's good times at our house sometimes as you know I am the exact opposite of cheap)  This becomes an issue when we discuss shoes.  He usually goes for the cheapest thing he can find, which he blows holes through in about a month.  Last time I convinced him to get some Skechers, he destroyed 2 pairs in 6 months!  So this time I was bringing out the big guns!  I convinced my husband to spend the money and buy a pair of Dr. Martens!  Now I am sad!  In high school and college there was nothing I wanted more than a pair of Docs.  I totally planned on ordering a pair of 7-hole White Ninja boots wear to our wedding - but we were too poor.  He won't stop bragging about how great they feel on his feet.  I am jealous.

I still think I should get a pair someday.

Moving on...I just finished reading "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larson. 

Have you read it?  What do you think?  It was a bit tough to read as there were some pretty descriptive parts about serial rapists and stalkers.  Yucky to think about but it made for quite a story.  I finished it last night and went out to buy the next book in the series, "The Girl Who Played With Fire."

All right Friends, that's about all I have for today.  Just came back from spending too much money at the dance-wear store, picked up Wok Box on the way home and am on hold with Shaw.  Oh yeah - fun news of the week: My Best Friend is the Best Friend EVER!!  Shelley and Jeremy gave us a smokin' deal on a PVR!  Now that I am back to night shifts I will be able to record everything I miss.  YAY!  You should click here to go view her latest creation "Halloween Chocolate Dipped Oreos!"

PS - we decided to get the Gardasil vaccine.

Your Opinion Please

All right, so one of the reasons I want to blog is to start healthy debate.  So BE NICE, respect other people's opinions, but tell me what ya think!

Today's Question: To vaccinate or not to vaccinate?  Specifically the Gardasil vaccine.  The vaccine is being offered to my oldest daughter this year.  The things I'm interested in hearing about are: 1. Is it responsible parenting to vaccinate your daughter against an STD?  2. The vaccine has only been proven to be effective for 5 years, is it stupid to vaccinate at 10-years old when there is no proof it will last longer? Chat amongst yourselves...

Everybody's Doing It!

I'm a lemming.  Yep, I can admit it!  I used to blog all the time, back in the day before Crackbook.  Now a bunch of my friends are getting back into blogging and I figured I would too.  What should I blog about?  Well, I'm a mom and wife, a daughter and a sister, a friend and a co-worker.  All of relationships provide me with plenty to think about, laugh about and write about.  So check in when you have a minute!